Thursday, October 2, 2008

wala akong maisip na title, pero gusto kong mag-blog

kaya magbloblog ako. keri lang naman yun di ba?

from my previous blog entry, parang ambilis ng mga araw.

inaayos ko pa lang yung unang press tour namin sa batanes noon. tapos ngayon, in about a week's time, yung last press tour na namin sa CARAGA (agusan del norte-surigao del norte-siargao island) ang mangyayari. right now, i am confirming participants and finalizing arrangements, at ako ang sasama dun. my turn to be out of the office and into the sunshine of the island further south for a week. kinakabahan na hindi. alam ko astig yung regional office namin, pero kinakabahan pa rin ako sa mga maaaring mangyari. playing secnarios in my head. paranoid, oo, pero ganun yata talaga ako magstrategize. dasal ko, sana mairaos sya ng maayos--wala sanang bagyo o anything that will cancel it, at sana magenjoy ang lahat ng kasama.

during that time of my previous blog entry, kakakuha ko pa lang ng letter from the result i was talking about last entry. iniisip ko pa kung paano ko sasagutan yung CV form at paano ko aayusin yung health certificate na kasama nun. next week, yun na yung exam. that means, during this time next week, tapos na yung second day ng exam. that means, the next day (or should i say, evening), i will be in my filipiniana best (note to self: check on that outfit sa mananahi), to attend the mock diplomatic dinner that is the third exam. dasal ko, sana malampasan ko ito ng maayos, na di ako madapa sa sapatos at damit na suot ko, na sana di ako mabulol o ma-mental block, na sana they will see me worthy to represent the country.

noong sinulat ko yung blog entry na yun, a week just passed from the reason that i went on a five-day leave. numb pa ako ng mga panahong iyon. yun bang ayoko pa syang pag-usapan. pero ngayon, malapit ko nang malaman ang resulta nun (to be exact, at the end of this month). malapit ko nang malaman if i should be looking forward to april of next year, kung makukuha ko yung limang taong pinagpaguran, pinagkastress-an at pinagkagastusan ko. kung magiging masaya ang pasko ko. dasal ko, sana makuha ko sya. sana makamarch na talaga ako sa april. sana mapatunayan ko sa sarili ko na kaya ko pala, na di dapat ako natakot dito.

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tama nga yata yung kaibigan ko. workaholic ako. better yet, ginagamit ko ang trabaho para malimutan ko ang mga dapat kong katakutan, ang mga isyu na ayaw kong harapin. yun bang ginagamit ko ang mga activities ko para makalimutan ko ang kabadtripan ko sa iba pang activities ng buhay ko.

kunyari badtrip ako sa trabaho. noon, binubuhos ko sa gradschool ang inis ko. that is the time that i am at my prime sa paggawa ng mga papers at reports. tapos kapag badtrip ako sa aral, binubuhos ko naman sa trabaho. work galore, astig sa pagpapakabibo sa opisina. at kung badtrip ako sa pareho, sa yoga ko naman binubuhos ang inis ko. nothing beats ujjai breathing and doing asanas kapag gusto mong malimutan ang inis mo sa di mo matapos na press release at sobrang habang readings.

these days, puro sya trabaho. dahil nga nawala ako ng matagal, the office is compensating. sunod-sunod na assignments. arrange dito, consolidate doon, cover diyan, attend ng meeting dito. meron pang kasamang mga pabor at information gathering mula sa mga bossings at ibang staffs. the days have blended into one major work mode.

kaya ang nangyari sa akin, my body is paying the price. i am currently having the worst PMS on record. yun bang sobrang hirap bumangon sa kama dahil sa sobrang sakit ng katawan at ulo. last monday, nagpasundo ako sa tatay ko mula sa trabaho dahil nahilo ako at sumakit ang ulo ko. yun ngang taong naiiwan dito sa office, nagworry for me kasi amputla-putla ko daw. kelangan ko na daw ng break.

ang problema, kapag work mode ako, di ko alam kung paano magswitch off. para akong energizer bunny--i just keep on going and going, until there is no energy to keep going.

paano ba magswitch-off? at sa mga workaholic na tulad ko, gaano ba kahirap magswitch-off?

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